Empathy is perhaps the most critical of all human emotions. It is what ties us together as partners, teams, organizations, and to our customers. It is the ability to suspend our own interests, opinions, and convictions momentarily and listen long enough to feel what someone else is feeling; to truly understand their interests, opinions, and convictions.
Thomas Koulopoulos
What makes a good co-worker? What quality do you appreciate most in a friend? What response do you hope for when you have to take a problem to your boss – or to your bishop? How did Christ manage to take upon himself the sins of the entire world? The answer to each of these questions is empathy – the ability to listen to, feel, and genuinely understand what someone else is feeling.
We all appreciate being heard and understood. If we are truly to be Latter-day “Saints,” we must, ourselves, be caring and loving toward other people. And, I must add, our empathy must be extended to ALL people, not just those close to us or like us. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, is the example we must look up to and emulate.
Ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;
Mosiah 18:8-9
Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even unto death…
Our society is now in a very divided condition. This divide has been characterized in different ways: red vs blue, right vs left, Republican vs Democrat, urban vs rural, rich vs poor, and capitol vs labor. Perhaps more important than any of these divides is the divide between empathy and indifference.
The contrast between empathy and indifference is illustrated in the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25-37). Jesus used this parable to teach the lawyer that neighborly compassion has nothing to do with one’s beliefs or with one’s position in society (priest and Levite vs. despised Samaritan), but, rather, was demonstrated through one’s actions.
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 5:44
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches us to love and pray for our enemies. We are never justified in treating anyone poorly – even if they treat us poorly. We are taught to bless and do good to everyone – even those who curse and hate us. The point isn’t who THEY choose to be, but who WE choose to be.
If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm any hostility.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Some people seem to naturally care about others and some do not. I believe those who care only for themselves are ultimately the cause of all the miseries in the world. Fortunately one can repent and learn to grow in one’s ability to be empathetic. Unfortunately, one cannot repent for someone else. We can only try to persuade with love.
No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-42
By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—
Empathy is the key to bridging, and hopefully eventually healing, the divisions in the world. Kindness and a pure knowledge of others enlarges our soul and increases our compassion and ability to love. It is the path to becoming more like Christ.
Sources: “Developing the Empathy to Minister,” Liahona, February 2019.
Thomas Koulopoulos, “The Single Most Important Interview Technique That Nearly Everyone Leaves Out,” INC., March 31, 2017.
Cartoon: Jonathan Richards, “Empathy,” HuffPost, June 5, 2009.
Lovely, timely, and eloquent.