In my undergraduate days, majoring in Speech/Theatre Education, I took a class called, “Small Group Discussion.” The instructor divided the class into groups of six or seven people. Each group was instructed to create a task for themselves (which the instructor would not define for us). We would be presenting the results of that task to the entire class in about six weeks.
We were expected to not only work on whatever “project” our group came up with, but to journal about the relationships and working processes within the group as they formed. We were specifically instructed to not “elect” or otherwise designate a group leader. The instructor said that a group leader would “emerge” as the group worked together.
Meanwhile the text for the class taught us that every small group has two dimensions: social and task. Both are equally important and need to be kept in balance. If a group focuses too heavily on the social dimension, the task will suffer and may not get done. But if a group focuses too heavily on the task dimension, the group will not commuicate well and will actually perform poorly on the task.
“Who is your leader?”
A few weeks before our class presentation, the instructor, who had been observing each group for several weeks from the front of the room, visited our group meeting and asked us who had emerged as our leader. Our group insisted that we had no leader, that we worked by consensus and that everyone participated equally. He told us that we DID have a leader. He had been watching us. He told us to think about it some more and reread the part of the textbook about “emergent leadership.”
The next week he came back and asked us again. “Who has emerged as your group leader?” Again, several members of the group stated that we had no leader. “Yes you DO have a leader,” he insisted. The instructor looked me right in the eyes and asked again, “Who is your leader?” I remained silent.
He then said to us, “Ok, you tell me that everyone in this group expresses their thoughts and opinions equally. However, after you have talked something through and seem to have reached a consensus decision, who does everyone look at to confirm the decision is final?”
Finally the eyes of the group members began to show the dawning of realization. One by one, they all looked at me. I smiled back. “Yes,” the instructor said, “Brian has been your leader for weeks now.” Then he smiled, “Brian has a very gentle, very democratic, style of leadership, but his opinions are clearly very respected in this group.”
Then he looked at me and said, “You’ve known for a while now, haven’t you?” I responded that I wasn’t sure until he had insisted the week before that we DID have a leader. When he said that I realized it was me. “Why didn’t you tell them?” he asked. I replied, “I thought it would be better if they came to realize it themselves.”
Choosing a leader
A key lesson taught in the class was that “emergent” group leaders are not always the same person as the “official” group leader. It does not matter if someone has been assigned, appointed, or even elected to a position of leadership. Groups of people decide for themselves who to believe, who to trust, and who to follow.
Sometimes people can be horribly wrong in choosing whom to follow. The current state of the American Republican party is clear evidence of this. People sometimes choose ignorance over knowledge, lies over truth, incompetence over expertise, even hell over heaven.
As the story above shows, it is also possible for people to be actively and consistently following a leader without being consciously aware that they are doing so. Such situations usually require an outside observer to point out the true situation to those who are in it.
It is critically important that people choose their leaders wisely and with their eyes wide open. Otherwise they will very likely end up blindly following an unscrupulous person. When large numbers of people do this, the result is always disastrous.
We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.
Doctrine and Covenants 121:39-40
Hence many are called, but few are chosen.
Positive leadership
No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
Doctrine and Covenants 121:41- 42
By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—
This advice for priesthood holders in the LDS Church can also be applied to leadership more broadly.
To become a good leader, one must become a good person. A good leader is kind, patient, and persuades gently, by teaching pure knowledge. As the example of Jesus shows us, the true purpose of leadership is to serve and bless the lives of others.
Countless prophets, apostles, bishops, priests, missionaries, and even some politicians, have done this over the centuries. Even God understands and does this. His work is to help us advance.
For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.
Moses 1:39
False leadership
Many are those who seek leadership roles for the purpose of self-aggrandizement. Boasting, bullying, excessive competitiveness, pompous behavior, and acting superior, are not characteristics of leadership, they are indicators of toxic narcissism.
Rather than desiring to serve others, these people are only interested in power and gain for themselves. They want to be “the boss” and have others serve them. However, true leadership is never a “dictate”orship.
A true leader does not demand obedience. He or she simply teaches the truth and sets an example of righteousness and integrity. This inspires others to behave in a similar fashion.
The key distinction between false leadership and positive leadership is the presence or absence of manipulation. People follow false leaders when they become blinded by fear, or mistrust, or ignorance, or selfish pride. People trust and follow true leaders when they come to see and understand the benefits of truth, integrity, kindness, and unselfishness.
Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
Doctrine and Covenants 121:45-46
The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.
Becoming leaders
Everyone needs to develop their leadership skills. We often say in church that our goal is to “become more like Christ.” Well, Jesus was a leader. He demonstrated leadership as teacher, a healer, a colleague, a counselor, a revelator, and a priest. In His pre-Earth life He was a creator and a law-giver.
To set a personal goal to become like Jesus Christ is a noble long-term pursuit. It will require one to develop deep compassion and wide-ranging knowledge, coupled with complete integrity and trustworthiness.
The restored gospel of Jesus Christ teaches that the purpose of our existence on Earth is not to simply learn to obey God’s commands. We are here to learn how to actually become like him. His commandments are specifically designed to maximize our growth and happiness — and teach us how to become leaders.
Our Heavenly Father’s goal in parenting is not to have His children do what is right; it is to have His children choose to do what is right and ultimately become like Him. If He simply wanted us to be obedient, He would use immediate rewards and punishments to influence our behaviors.
Dale G. Renlund, “Choose You This Day,” Ensign or Liahona, Nov. 2018, 104.
But God is not interested in His children just becoming trained and obedient ‘pets’ who will not chew on His slippers in the celestial living room. No, God wants His children to grow up spiritually and join Him in the family business.
Fascinating. I’m reminded a bit of when I read James Comey’s book on leadership, contrasting his experience with good leaders, who had traits of confidence and humility, as contrasted with bad leaders, who demonstrated pride and insecurity. Also Nibley on the difference between Leaders and Managers.